痛み
Pain:
A "Sukeban" Ichiko RP
Author's note: <""> denotes dialogue in Japanese.
August 27, 2021 - 9:00 am
Manchester, England
The morning sun shines through the window of an apartment brightly, bringing a warmth to the scene within. It’s a small living room with a slightly worn blue sofa, small coffee table and modest media set up with a tv and streaming box. On one side of the sofa siits Ichiko, hair back in a ramshackle ponytail. This morning she’s garbed in a gray tank top and jeans; no need to be fancy when she’s just lounging. Next to her sits Sawako in shorts and one of her old Queendom t-shirts. It’s one that still amuses Ichiko, featuring a posterized image of a frowning Sawako and the text ‘SAWA-NO’ below. Just another reminder to her of how expressive her girlfriend is, for better or worse. Right now she’s getting another reminder of that from Sawako herself.
As they watch TV together, sipping coffee intermittently, the former ace of Queendom’s face displays all the emotions which must be coursing through her. It’s been a few days since the match but rewatching it now makes Ichiko feel like she’s back in the ring. A part of her anyhow. Now she gets the extra bonus of seeing Sawako’s reaction to the triple threat. When Chaingang gets Ichiko in the Gulag Grip, Sawako’s eyes are wide with fear and she holds her hands to her mouth as she nearly gasps. And once Ichiko hits Sudden Death, and the ref counts three, Sawako sighs in relief while a look of anxiousness remains. Ichiko on the other hand just smiles with a primal satisfaction as she recalls the feeling of her knee slamming into Dracona’s face.
Ichiko: <”There you go! Not only did I hang with both of them, I showed everyone watching the power of Sudden Death. Would’ve made her tap but that can take time. And you don’t waste time when someone’s bringing a chain into the fight.”>
Sawako looks Ichiko up and down again - another inspection? Ichiko is starting to wonder if this is going to happen every time she has a match. Even from Sawako that’s liable to get old sooner rather than later. For a brief moment Ichiko wonders if Sawako doesn’t trust her to take care of herself. The thought is shaken almost as soon as it occurs, Ichiko reminding herself that Sawako just worries like this.
Sawako: <”Well.. At least you won.”>
She hesitates to say anything further, just sitting there and gazing into Ichiko’s eyes instead. Then suddenly she looks down to her cup and seems to find some direction.
Sawako: <”I’m going to get some more coffee, do you want any?”>
Ichiko blinks in surprise and shakes her head.
Ichiko: <”Nah, I’m fine.>”
The other woman gets up so quickly that any pretense of nonchalance is thrown to the wind. It’s instantly obvious that Sawako is in a hurry to leave the room, which gets Ichiko thinking. Ever since her First Class debut her girlfriend has been a little off kilter. Something isn’t right with Sawako but Ichiko can’t quite place her finger on it. When she’d called Sawako Sunday night after seeing that hoodie, the other woman had made an excuse about being somewhere else for a meeting. Maybe it had just been a coincidence; Sawako used to sell merch online so it was possible someone else backstage has some of it. But Monday night Sawako had been out on ‘business’ all night and gotten home after Ichiko had fallen asleep. After that night it felt like more than a tiny bit of discussion about wrestling put Sawako on edge. Discussing work just made it feel like the woman is walking on eggshells. Considering they had been training enthusiastically a few days ago, that is pretty weird. Ichiko spent a good chunk of time just convincing Sawako to watch the replay of her match this morning. Maybe the worry had just gotten overwhelming for her?
While she waits for Sawako to return, Ichiko casts her eyes at something that had caught her attention earlier this morning. A powder blue sports bag which has been on the living room floor since at least Tuesday morning. Before it did not seem to be anything worth worrying about but this morning Ichiko has begun to reconsider that judgement. Kind of weird that it’s only been there since the morning after her girlfriend’s supposed business meeting. Unable to contain the curiosity and suspicion any longer Ichiko gets up and goes over to the bag to inspect the contents. A simple unzipping of the bag reveals shiny white fabric with iridescent sapphire trim. Instantly Ichiko recognizes this as the gear Sawako wore in Queendom during their last year there. What was it doing here? That suspicion which has been lingering and growing slowly since their recent training is back with a vengeance.
Just then a dull hum and vibration at her hip pulls Ichiko away from the mysterious ring gear. The Sukeban reaches into her pocket and taps her phone to see who or what the notification is regarding. Huh, this is unexpected. A notification from a Japanese messaging app Ichiko has on her phone? There are only a few people she communicates with back home, so she doesn’t get messages too often. Suddenly curious she opens the app and sees that this one is from her friend who uses the handle “Kōgō”. A fellow wrestler who was one of the few to have gained not only her respect but also her friendship. Ichiko is awfully curious now so she taps the screen once more to have a peek.
Message from Kōgō: <Ichi, you should look up the Nakada match from the 8/23 Combat. Trust me, it’s very interesting.>
Nakada match? What in the hell was Kōgō talking about? Still Ichiko has no idea what exactly Sawako has been up to this week. Maybe she’d gotten involved with another wrestler or something. Ichiko tells herself that it’s probably just ring gear being shown off. That explains why the gear is in Sawako’s bag! She must have shown it off to the people backstage. Maybe it’s a completely different Nakada who is in this Combat match she’s just now hearing about. Ichiko navigates over to YouTube on her phone to look it up and finds a thumbnail that amplifies her suspicions. Sawako Nakada in ring gear and her Battle Maiden shirt. But maybe this is just an old match from Queendom that someone has edited to look like Combat? The Sukeban knows this isn’t the case as soon as the video starts playing.
Sawako has red-brown hair in this match, which she did not have the last time she and Oni Ogawa tangled. Except here she is in a video uploaded Tuesday wrestling Oni Ogawa in front of a most assuredly European crowd. Every sequence of the match gets Ichiko’s blood boiling at a slightly higher temperature. Her suspicions, her fears, they are all completely on target. All this time that she has worked to keep Sawako safe, out of the ring. Now it’s all proven a waste. Sawako Nakada is undeniably an active wrestler again despite promising that she would do no such thing. Ichiko grips her phone so tightly that her knuckles go white. A scowl has spread across her lips and the sound of light foot steps behind her just makes Ichiko more upset.
Sawako: <"Ichiko, what-">
She stands there with a fresh, steaming cup of coffee in her hand. Ichiko stands up slowly while the video continues to play on her phone. Muscles tensed she turns to face Sawako and does not say a single word at first. Instead she just holds her phone up so that Sawako can see what she’s found. Sawako’s face pales as she realizes the situation and Ichiko just glares at her. The Sukeban’s expression fills with anger and anguish as she watches her girlfriend’s reaction. When Sawako looks away, lips trembling a bit, Ichiko has her final proof. Guilt being shown on the other woman’s part cements that this betrayal is very real. Ichiko shoves the phone toward Sawako’s face as she finally speaks.
Ichiko: <”When were you going to tell me about this, huh?>”
Sawako does not raise her head, does not dare to look at Ichiko as she’s speaking. Ichiko moves in closer and feels herself losing a bit of control.
Ichiko: <”You promised me! You promised that you’d never step in a ring again, that you’d be safe!”>
A pause as both women think. Ichiko steps back and looks away herself, wondering what she should do in this situation. As upset as this is she has no desire to cause any harm to Sawako. What to do?
Sawako: <”I-Ichiko.. I.. just.. I just-”>
Ichiko: <”You just had to go back on that, didn’t you? Your image in the ring is more important to you isn’t it?”>
Sawako: <”That’s not it at all, I-”>
Ichiko is too upset now to hear any explanation the other woman might give her. She steps toward the door and looks over her shoulder at Sawako. The fury in her eyes is usually reserved only for her opponents.
Ichiko: <”I don’t care. I’m getting out of here for a while. See ya.. Battle Maiden.>”
Ichiko storms out the front door, grabbing her backpack on the way. She doesn’t know where she’s going but she does know she can’t be here any more today. One of the only people she has ever cared about deeply has just shattered a promise they’d made in a moment of passion. So many thoughts fueled by anger, pain and fury were going through Ichiko’s mind at this point that she knew she needed space. Space and time to figure something out. The Sukeban climbed on her bike, strapped on her helmet and rode off through the streets of Manchester.
August 31, 2021 - 11:45 pm
Manchester, England
Several days have passed since Ichiko’s worst fears about Sawako had been confirmed. All of those days have been a blur to Ichiko. Nothing particularly stands out about them in her mind on the few occasions where she thinks back to them. After leaving the flat she had gone on a long ride through the city and ended up at the gym. She’s been there every day as usual but has not been using the ring as much. How could she really effectively do so when the person she’s been training with had run off to be in love with herself? That’s the conclusion Ichiko keeps coming back to anytime she thinks about Sawako Nakada.
At the gym she works out, pushes herself harder as an outlet for all the emotions coursing through her. If she’s focused on getting herself into even meaner fighting shape she doesn’t think about the pain that has suddenly entered her life. Pain isn’t something that she should be feeling from someone she’d let into her heart. Definitely something she feels after her more physical matches. But from someone she moved to another country with and had promised to fight for? No. When the thoughts get to be too much she switches up and hits the punching bags with as much force as she can. Working herself to exhaustion has gotten her to sleep most nights but in the morning that whirlwind of emotions returns. Ichiko absolutely prefers not to deal with it but her methods are proving to be less effective than she’s hoped for.
Today she’s decided to forego the gym and stay in for a bit. She has full run of the flat since there isn’t anyone else around. Her partner wasn’t there when she had gotten home from her ride a few days ago. Ichiko hasn’t heard anything from Sawako since then either and that’s just as well. The Sukeban has no idea what she would even say if they were to cross paths right now. Sawako betrayed her, stabbed her in the back while she had been doing everything she could to ensure there was no need for the Battle Maiden to enter the ring again. For Ichiko the question of why lingers on, and she has spent today trying to find a direction for herself now that protecting a loved one isn’t on the table anymore.
Despite the anger that she feels for the betrayal, Ichiko is feeling more lonely than anything at this exact moment. Her flat’s awfully quiet with no one else around to chat with, rewatch matches or otherwise have fun with. With her match still days away she isn’t going to get the rush of a good fight again anytime soon. There’s just quietness and emptiness as she sits on her couch, wondering what the hell she should do with herself. Just as this thought occurs to her for the thousandth time today, her phone vibrates on the coffee table. Odd. She hasn’t gotten any calls or messages since Sunday, so who could this be?
Ichiko questioningly picks the phone up and sees a familiar name on a notification. Once again her friend Kōgō is reaching out over their chat app. She thinks back to Sunday and how Sawako hadn’t told her a damn thing about wrestling again. Kōgō had obviously realized it was something that Ichiko had a right to know about. At least, Ichiko thinks, Kōgō was thinking of her even when the other woman was only concerned with becoming the Battle Maiden again. Given how alone she’s felt today it’s a welcome change of pace for someone back home to reach out to her. She taps open the app and reads the message with a great amount of curiosity in her mind.
Message from Kōgō: <Ichi, how are you? It’s been a few days. You all right?>
Ichiko frowns as she thinks about how to respond to that. Of course she isn’t all right, but it’s probably unlikely that Kōgō wants to hear her whole story right here and now. Still after being in self imposed isolation all day the idea of speaking to someone is a bit refreshing. So she types out a message she hasn’t considered asking her friend since moving to the UK.
Message from Ichi-banWest: <Actually, do you have a minute? I wanna do a video call.>
Message from Kōgō: <Sure, go ahead.>
For a moment Ichiko hesitates, she’s not sure how to even start the conversation. Seeing a friendly face might lighten things a bit, though. So she sets her phone down on the sofa for a moment in order to free her hands. Since she’s been in all da she still has a bad case of bed head and it has been getting in her eyes. The last thing she wants is even more irritation when she’s trying to hold a conversation. After manhandling it into a sloppy ponytail again she retrieves her phone. Ichiko does her best to put on a confident face and then taps the video call button. A moment later the face of her fellow wrestler appears on the screen from thousands of miles away.
Ichiko: <”Morning.”>
Kōgō: <”You don’t look so good. That’s to be expected though.”>
Ichiko: <”Yeah. But I can’t let her distract me too much. Got another match coming up this weekend. But I can’t focus on it enough, and I’m kind of worried about that.”>
Kōgō: <”That’s not the Ichi I know. You sound weak.”>
Ichiko scowled at the notion that she was in fact not as strong as a girl boss ought to be. What did Kōgō know about how she felt right now? But maybe she was right too. Normally Ichiko would be planning just how she was going to wreck the next woman who tried to go toe to toe with her. Now? All she seemed to think of was how miserable everything has been the whole week. And how much what happened the other day hurts inside. The Sukeban’s scowl turns into a snarl, but her eyes look away from the screen for a moment. Kōgō has hit a nerve.
Ichiko: <”Okay, so i do. And you know what? I hate that.. But more than anything right now I’m just.. Angry.”>
Kōgō: <”Angry at what?”>
The question is very direct, and Kōgō’s tone sounds as if she already knows the answer. She wants Ichiko to find the answer herself. Ichiko looks at the screen again and a fire is beginning to spark in her eyes.
Ichiko: <”At the fact that despite doing everything I needed to, she still went behind my back and broke the one promise she knew was the most important. And why the hell did she do that? She could’ve done a hundred other things but instead she goes back to the one thing she said she’d never do. It seriously.. Ugh!”>
Just talking about it at all is getting Ichiko pretty worked up. Sitting there and talking isn’t going to be enough to properly channel the onrush of feelings she has. So Ichiko stands up and begins to pace around the flat, one hand holding her phone and the other clenched into a fist. Kōgō’s expression remains serenely calm while Ichiko’s rage boils to the surface. The fire in the Sukeban’s eyes is being stoked into an inferno.
Ichiko: <”What makes it worse is she’s just going around with her social media showing off her designs so that people get more excited for her breaking a promise. I do all this for her and she spends more time on a big damn vanity project than even trying to explain any of this to me. Letting the whole world know about it before she’d even think about bringing it up to the person who loves her. Maybe she never cared about me that much. Maybe she only cares about herself! That’s what pisses me off. And everything that reminds me of her - I just want it gone. That includes that music she picked for me.. I’m going to use what I wanted in the first place..”>
Her steps become more frantic with each thing she accuses her absent partner of. To her all of this is now abundantly clear, brought to light for the whole world to see. The desire to smash something is very real and very tempting for Ichiko, but she manages to hold it off for now. All of the stuff around her belongs to her, and despite how upset she is it’d be a hassle to replace it right now. By the time she finishes the mini rant Ichiko has actually stopped pacing and settles for just seething with fury at the injustice of it all. Thrown away for some stupid self promotion and desire for celebrity.
Kōgō: <”So you’re not seeing her anymore?”>
Ichiko hesitates at that. She has no idea what her future plans are, everything is just so messed up in her life right now. Finally she shakes her head.
Ichiko: <”She’s not here if that’s what you mean. Took off somewhere and I haven’t heard from her since Sunday. I’m glad she hasn’t shown her face around here.”>
But was she? Was she really happy that Sawako wasn’t around anymore? Didn’t that emptiness from before suggest otherwise? Ichiko is snapped out of these thoughts as her friend directs another question at her.
Kōgō: <”Good, that lets you focus on your match without her distracting you. Who is it this time?”>
Ichiko’s fires quickly start burning white hot again. Her face contorts in disgust as she just thinks about the woman she’s booked to battle next. It reminds her too much of how Sawako seems to just be seeking attention.
Ichiko: <”Denise Demarco. A woman who’s only around the ring because it gets her attention and mindless drones cheering for her.. For some reason. I don’t get it, really. You wouldn’t think that someone like her would be a threat in the ring at all, but she has won a match already. And they put her in a big time tag match last show, even though she was outclassed by every woman in that ring. Even the referee. So I’m not about to say that she isn’t someone to worry about, because she just finds ways to get her way. Then take stupid pictures of what she did so that people will fawn over her and treat her like the star she has no right to be. She’s in contention for a new championship, and she’s got tricks and traps that help her win even though she is outclassed.”>
For a moment Ichiko recalls seeing some pointless image the influencer put up, and how much attention it got her. Meanwhile someone like Ichiko who was there for the fight itself got a thin margin of that attention. People weren’t talking about her enough yet. They were probably talking more about Sawako than her as well. This thought, combined with “The Diamond” solely existing to become famous for being famous set her off even more.
Ichiko: <”But let’s be real. She’s a vapid narcissist who’s about to find out that everytning she cares about doesn’t make a bit of difference now. Come the fourth, it doesn’t matter how many people mindlessly like and pay attention to the drivel she vomits into existence. Because the only person who f*ing matters when that bell rings is this bitch right here. She’s so in love with herself, she doesn’t notice anything else around her That’s going to get her into a world of agony when she actually has to fight the Sukeban.”>
She laughs derisively as she continues.
Ichiko: <”She’s claiming that she’s undefeated. Undefeated? All I’ve seen is one win, and her team going down last week. I’m pretty sure that losing a tag match counts against her record. But let’s pretend it doesn’t. After this First Class she won’t have to worry about whether she’s been beaten legitimately any more. Because Denise Dimarco gets the gift of my full attention, and as a bonus I’m extra pissed off now. What people are going to be saying about her after First Class is that she has such a lovely view of the local medical facility. She’ll be so badly beaten, her face so smashed up that she’ll be promoting reconstructive surgery next week.”>
Ichiko’s face shifts from anger to unbridled joy at the thoughts of wreaking havoc upon the social media influencer. It’s one on one which means that Ichiko is getting the poor wretch all to herself. The Sukeban’s lips curl up into a sadistic smile as she speaks.
Ichiko: <”But she doesn’t get the release of Sudden Death like Dracona did. No. The lasting image of this match is going to be her gasping for air and writhing in pain in the middle of the ring. Of her either tapping out to her superior or passing out. And at the end I’m standing over her unconscious body, laughing at all the pathetic people who thought she might pull a rabbit out of her hat. Maybe I’ll take that phone of hers and shove it down her throat so that her viewers get a real inside look at their hero.”>
This makes her laugh again, and she thinks about how good it’s all going to feel. As far as Ichiko is concerned this match isn’t going to be over quickly, and it isn’t going to be pretty. When Ichiko gets her hands on this woman it’s going to be a mauling plain and simple. For a moment she imagines herself in the ring, standing with one foot on the influencer’s unmoving chest. People jeer her but she just flips them the bird and drinks in the hate. And then she catches a familiar form out of the corner of her eye. Ichiko looks over at it and sure enough, it’s a long cylindrical form of glistening metal. With a wicked gleam in her eye she walks over and picks the metal baseball bat up, feeling its heft in her grip She puts it on her shoulder and looks back to Kōgō on her phone’s screen.
Ichiko: <”What do you think, Kōgō? Might be time to break out Sakura here. She hasn’t gotten any blood for a long time, so I’m sure she’s.. hungry.”>
Kōgō doesn’t respond to that specifically, but she does smile.
Kōgō: <”Go out and show the world your strength, Ichi. Do that and I’ll be happy. You’ll be happy too.”>
Ichiko nods, then yawns.
Ichiko: <”Guess I’d better crash. Thanks for listening tonight, Kōgō. I appreciate it.>”
Kōgō: <”Of course.”>
With that Ichiko taps the red end call button and considers her options. A bed would be more comfortable for sure, but she is really starting to feel the exhaustion brought on by this week. Between her undecipherable feelings, the betrayal of a lover and a fight on the horizon, she’d been burning through a lot of energy. Ichiko set her bat down up against the wall and then fell over onto the couch. As she stared up at the ceiling, she felt some relief at last. Maybe she did have a direction after all. Maybe what she needed to do was not just make people afraid of her and brutalize opponents. She needed to do what she’d done on her home turf as part of her gang - she needed to make this her domain. That started with the annihilation of Denise Dimarco. WIth that thought in her mind, Ichiko closed her eyes and drifted off.
終わり